Old Dog's Tricks
by Rebecca Hb
Summary: G1: At the end of the day, Kup knows more about everything than Hot Rod has ever learned, including some tricks to keep from getting caught by Ultra Magnus.


**Old Dog's Tricks**

Hot Rod fidgeted. Kup didn't look angry with him. That had to be a good thing, right? Only Kup did look pretty unhappy, and he'd already chewed out both Hot Rod and Arcee for sneaking off to cuddle when they were supposed to be on watch. And, okay, Kup had a point, but they hadn't seen Decepticons in **years**. One skipped watch wouldn't kill anybody. "So... Do you need me for anything, Kup?"

His watch was technically over, same as Arcee's. And Springer's. He really wanted to catch up with her before the triple-changer did.

"Yeah. Explain to me what process made it seem like a good idea to abandon your post to tweak Arcee's circuits."

"Well, I couldn't do anything with her if I was at my post." Hot Rod offered Kup a grin, hoping to get the older mech to laugh it off.

Kup jabbed a finger at Hot Rod. "If I were Ultra Magnus, you'd already be getting lectured about how many people could have died from that stupid stunt. And you wouldn't listen, you'd just go do it again."

"I wouldn't-"

Kup slashed his hand to the side, cutting the red car off with a gesture. "You would. I know it, Ultra Magnus knows it,_ Elita One_ knows it. So I'm not gonna try that route."

Hot Rod folded his arms behind his head. "So what are you going to do then?"

He wasn't quite dumb enough to ask if it could wait.

"You're still set to automatically accept all data connections from me, aren't you?"

That was out of the dark. "Yeah, sure. What's that got to do with anything, Kup?"

"Ah, just a little hands-on demonstration of something you can do with Arcee that doesn't require you to abandon your post."

Hot Rod tried to put work that out in a way that didn't involve Kup knowing anything about what two or more mechs did together. Come on! He was Kup! Kup didn't get laid! That was like Ultra Magnus getting laid. "... What?"

"Hot Rod, I know you know what I'm talking about. Deliberate stupidity gets mechs killed. Like that time in Praxus when this black-and-red jet started groping Rumour-"

"Gah! But you're- You're Kup!" He so did not want to hear any stories right now, especially ones that started with someone Kup knew getting groped. There was no way that could end well and not give Hot Rod horrible mental images for the rest of the day.

"Yeah," Kup said slowly. "I've been around a lot longer than you have, kid. I know more than just how to kill people."

Hot Rod snorted. "Prove it."

Fingers pressed against the center of his spoiler and slid all the way down to the base of it. Hot Rod gleeped and hastily glanced over his shoulder. No one there, and Kup was still across the room-

Heat like exhaust-breath spread over his side. To be as hot as it felt, it should have melted his armor but when he pressed his hand to his side, all he felt was cool, pristine metal. Then he couldn't feel that as the heat seemed to spread into his hand. He gasped and yanked it away, but the heat didn't fade.

Gingerly, he touched two fingers to his cheek. The heat didn't radiate, but the softness of his own touch sent electric current sparkling through his wires. His engine revved in his chest, and his optics flickered.

Something heavy pressed against the base of his throat, pulled itself almost painfully hard down his chest, then exploded to outline his Autobrand in lines of lightning.

This time his engine** roared**.

Hot Rod stumbled back, shoved his back against the wall before his knees started shaking too hard. Oh Prime, he was so wound up, his pistons pumping like he was trying to race Blurr. "K-up? Kup, what are you doing?"

"Feeding you false sensor data reports," the older Autobot replied. "You got your systems auto-loading any data I send you, so it just plays like it's real. Rumour showed me that trick before she settled down in Kaon."

Wet heat enveloped the tips of Hot Rod's spoiler, and he whined wordlessly. This was- This was so not fair! He'd never heard Arcee making noises like this before, or Springer, and the three of them did this stuff way more than **Kup** did.

Didn't they?

All thoughts of fairness vanished from Hot Rod's mind when an aluminum-light pressure wrapped around his ventral sensor line. Light and color exploded behind his optics, his engine screamed as it felt like every sensor in his body spasmed.

Blackness crashed through him.

* * *

"Are you all right, Hot Rod?"

Hot Rod came online with Arcee's hands cradling his face. He blinked at her in confusion, then shifted to look over her shoulder. No Kup. In the ten seconds it took for his sensory net to reboot and recalibrate, the old-timer had vanished.

"Yeah," he said a little shakily. "I'm fine, Arcee. No problems."

"Your engine is hot." She pressed a hand to his chest. "What did Kup do to you that knocked you out? If he hurt you..."

His engine revved a little bit at Arcee's touch, and he tried not to let his optics blush. "Nah, Arcee. He just showed me a trick so I don't get caught by Ultra Magnus or something."

"But your engine-?"

"It's nothing, really. Just some feelings he kicked up when he was chewing me out." He shrugged a little, grinned a lot, and hoped she wouldn't press the issue. "You know how Kup is."

**The End**


End file.
